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Pace University's Sex And Dating Study Looks At Orgasm Etiquette James Nichols Note: Huffington Post Gay Voices is a media sponsor for Pace University and ProofPilot's study, ' How We Date, Have Sex, and Form Relationships Today.' When you treat someone to a mouth-induced orgasm, they don't get to judge what you do after the fact. Spit, swallow, move out of the way so it doesn't get in your hair, whatever. As long as you're. A study from Indiana University found that 370 of 530 women surveyed had experienced orgasm or sexual pleasure while working out, usually from core-based exercises. Women orgasm more often when oral sex or another form of stimulation is included. Medically reviewed by University of Illinois — Written by Ann Pietrangelo — Updated on November 19, 2017.
Do you hold hands?
You may have already kissed that special someone, indulged in a couch makeout session, and even had sex; but the thrill of holding hands is as real and more important than any other type of physical intimacy.
We often view sex as the height of physical intimacy, so it seems counterintuitive that the innocent act of holding hands could be so emotionally charged. But in today's dating era, holding hands feels more intimate than ever. And if you find yourself wanting to reach out and grab your date's hand, that could be a sign that this relationship is the real deal.
Holding hands is a big deal. Even having sex with someone doesn't mean you'll hold their hand astaking someone's hand is a sign of wanting to be close to your partner in a nonsexual way. Tarah, 25, from Ontario, told Mic that it usually takes her two to three weeks of dating before she'll hold hands, even if they've already kissed or had sex.
'It's a sign of affection, a sign of me wanting to be close to you and close with you. There's a certain energy exchange that you can feel from holding hands with someone, especially if you have feelings for the person,' she said.
Besides the desire for physical affection, the move can also define your relationship status. If you're not ready for the world to see you as a couple, you're likely avoiding any acts that signify to others you're truly 'together.' And there's nothing quite like holding hands to signal that you're a couple. Nick, 23, from Santa Monica, California, explained that holding hands represents a shift from 'someone I'm dating' to 'someone I plan on indefinitely dating.'
'When you're holding someone's hand, you're entwining your fingers with theirs, a physical manifestation of an emotional connection,' he told Mic. 'You're joining yourself with your partner and you shift from a 'you and them' to an 'us' in the eyes of those around you.'
There's a reason it feels powerful. We're hardwired to feel an increase in pleasure and a decrease in anxiety when touching another person. Physical touch releases oxytocin, a 'cuddle hormone' that stimulates feelings of trust and bonding. Holding hands can even reduce pain: A 2009 study by the University of California found that women who were subjected to moderately painful heat stimuli experienced less discomfort while holding hands with their boyfriends.
One of the most powerful signals humans give each other of affection and interest is touch, said Pamela Regan, psychology professor at California State University, Los Angeles. And it can be just as romantic as sex. 'It's a promise,' Regan told Mic. 'It's a little possibility of what might happen.'
Times have redefined this gesture. The notion that holding hands is an act reserved for serious couples would have seemed bizarre not long ago. (Indeed, the thought of holding hands on a date feels straight out of a black-and-white movie.) But as casual sex has become widely accepted, it's possible we've assigned more meaning to the nonsexual act of holding hands. If sex is no longer a guaranteed way to demonstrate serious feelings for another person, hand-holding can be.
'I think it remains more important in an era of perhaps more liberal sexual norms,' New York University sociology professor Dalton Conley told the New York Timesin 2006. 'It remains this thing to be doled out.'
Sure, some people may still be physically repulsed by the idea of holding someone's hand. And deciding to publicly show the world that you and the guy or gal you've been seeing are a real couple can be scary. But if you'd like to feel more emotionally connected to your partner, holding hands can be a beautiful, romantically old-school gesture.
'It's emotionally charged and a status symbol exactly because it is G-rated. There is nothing sexual about it; rather it conveys pure connection and support,' Ronit, 28, from Washington, D.C., told Mic. 'When two people are holding hands, they operate as one unit.'
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By Justin Lehmiller
What percent of the time do women reach orgasm during vaginal intercourse? Multiple studies have been published on this topic, but the results have varied consideriably, making it difficult to draw firm conclusions.
Why have the findings been so different from one study to the next? According to recent research in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, part of the reason may be due to the fact that scientists haven’t been asking the question in the same way across studies. The truth of the matter is that question wording matters when it comes to studying women’s orgasms. It matters a lot.
Most previous studies haven’t specified whether “vaginal intercourse” includes added clitoral stimulation or not. This is problematic because it means that different women may be interpreting the question in different ways. For example, some may assume intercourse includes clitoral stimulation, while others don’t. If so, this could potentially explain why there’s been so much inconsistency in research findings.
In this study, researchers surveyed more than 1,400 women about their experiences with orgasm using three different questions. Specifically, all participants answered the following:
- “What percent of the time do you come to climax (orgasm) during vaginal intercourse (vaginal intercourse: the part of intercourse with a man that occurs while the man’s penis is in the woman’s vagina)?”(‘‘Intercourse in general’’)
- “When having strictly vaginal intercourse (strictly vaginal intercourse: intercourse with no additional clitoral stimulation from hands or a vibrator at the same time vaginal intercourse is going on), what percent of the time do you reach orgasm?” (“Unassisted form”)
- “When having intercourse with additional clitoral stimulation (intercourse with additional clitoral stimulation: intercourse with additional touching or rubbing of the clitoris with hands or a vibrator at the same time that intercourse is going on), what percent of the time do you reach orgasm?”(“Assisted form”)
It turned out that orgasm frequency varied substantially across these three questions.
Specifically, when asked about intercourse in general, 22% of women said they never experience orgasm. By contrast, this number dropped to 14% for “assisted” intercourse (i.e., when clitoral stimulation was specifically included), but increased to 37% when asked about “unassisted” intercourse (i.e., when clitoral stimulation was specifically excluded).
Likewise, on average, women said they reach orgasm 31-40% of the time in response to the question about intercourse in general. By contrast, women said they reached orgasm even more often with assisted intercourse (51-60% of the time), but less often with unassisted intercourse (21-30% of the time).
Altogether, what these results reveal is that when women are asked about their experiences with orgasm during vaginal intercourse in general, different women seem to be interpreting it in different ways. Some are thinking about intercourse alone (no clitoral stimulation), some are thinking about intercourse with added clitoral stimulation, and some appear to be thinking about both of these things at the same time and averaging them together
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On a side note, it’s worth mentioning that, as part of this study, approximately 1,500 men were asked to estimate how often women orgasm during both the unassisted and assisted forms. They estimated that women orgasm 61-70% of the time during assisted intercourse, compared to 41-50% of the time during unassisted intercourse.
These numbers suggest that while men do seem to recognize the important role clitoral stimulation plays with respect to the female orgasm, they tend to overestimate how often women are actually reaching orgasm. Why is that? According to the study’s authors, this “may reflect men’s difficulty in accurately detecting women’s orgasms, or alternatively, men’s difficulty in detecting when women fake orgasm.”
Together, what all of these findings demonstrate is the importance of asking women and men alike clear and detailed questions about orgasms in survey research. This will not only help give us a better idea of how often women tend to reach orgasm when having sex, but it will also help to highlight the specific forms of stimulation that women find most pleasurable.
References:
Shirazi, T., Renfro, K., Lloyd, E., & Wallen, K. (2017). Women’s Experience of Orgasm During Intercourse: Question Semantics Affect Women’s Reports and Men’s Estimates of Orgasm Occurrence. Archives of Sexual Behavior.
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Dr. Justin Lehmiller is an award winning educator and a prolific researcher and scholar. He has published articles in some of the leading journals on sex and relationships, written two textbooks, and produces the popular blog, Sex & Psychology. Dr. Lehmiller’s research topics include casual sex, sexual fantasy, sexual health, and friends with benefits. His latest book is Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Follow him on Twitter @JustinLehmiller.